Inns of Court: Laws of the Hunger Games

Matthew Talbot

You must excuse me if I am unable to provide the most unbiased analysis of the September 13, 2012 Inns Of Court meeting. When it is your own group that puts on the hour-long MCLE presentation, it can be difficult to provide the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. For you, however, dear reader, I will try my absolute hardest to provide the clearest picture of the Laws Of Hunger Games presented by Judge Cram’s pupilage group (starring Commissioner Don Green, Nancy Allard, Amy Foscalina, Michael Markowitz, Wally Hesseltine, Daniel Cabral, Ken Strongman, Silky Sahnan, and yours truly). When I say that historians shall mark the presentation as a paean to creative legal education, you can trust that this is exactly how it was! Although when I say that all future lawyers, judges, and law students will have to reenact this glorious performance, I must admit it’s only wishful thinking.

The presentation started out with the Hunger Games themselves. If you haven’t seen the movies, read the books, or spoken with anybody too young to remember VHS tapes were a thing, the stories revolve around a post-apocalyptic America where a dominant Capital City forces one person from each surrounding district to fight to the death for amusement. Judge Cram, playing the role of Effie Trinket, helped select two people from each pupilage group to answer questions. She ran the Games, asking questions for all groups to answer. If they got an answer wrong, they died!

Judge Cram was assisted by Nancy Allard. Amy Foscalina, playing the role of Katniss Everdeen, and myself as Peeta Mellark were also a team in the Hunger Games. We were assisted by Ken Strongman, playing the role of Haymitch Abernathy.

The questions were examples of applying modern American law to the seemingly lawless Hunger Games world. For example, as the tributes in the Hunger Games are under the age of 18, what might need to be set up for them to receive the winning prize money? A Guardianship! Our best laid plans of allowing sponsors from each pupilage group to assist their teammates in the Hunger Games fell apart when all but one team lost after the second round. Insomuch as Amy and I had helped write the questions, had discussed the answers prior to the meeting, and had a piece of paper with all of the answers written on them, we managed to answer all of them correctly. How unanticipated!

However, could there be two winners? In what Leonard Maltin called “the world’s finest acting”, I pledged my undying love for Amy’s Katniss and agreed to eat poisoned berries so that she would win. At the
last moment, Commissioner Green, playing the Game-Maker, was inspired by the NFL Replacement Refs and randomly changed the rules without explanation. He allowed two winners! But that was not all! After winning the Hunger Games, Amy and I sued the government for false imprisonment, assault, and battery.

We provided closing arguments as to why the government forced us to stay in one district, how we fear immediate attack, and experienced that bodily harm. Silky Sahnan, representing the government, argued as to why the assembled crowd of “jurors” should not rule in our favor. Sadly, the jurors did just that, finding in favor of the government. Then, we put on a second trial. Wally Hesseltine, playing a prosecutor for the government, presented a closing argument trying Amy and yours truly for treason for forcing two winners of the Hunger Games. Michael Markowitz, playing President Snow, defended us from the charges. What a nice President! The jurors again voted, finding us NOT guilty of treason. Score!

All in all, it was a very fun evening that provided both information about the modern American law, while also spoiling all the plot twists to the Hunger Games! The next meeting is November 8 at the Lafayette Park Hotel. To learn more about the Inns Of Court and get involved, contact President Scott Reep at (707) 784-0900 or Scott@Solanolawgroup.com